Top 5: Ridley Scott Movies

"Okay, Russell just don't sing anymore."

Ridley Scott has had one of the longest, most successful, and diverse careers of any modern director. He can hop between genres and themes with absolutely no problem. He takes his time between films so every time one comes out, it feels like an event, even if it turns out to be terrible (I'm looking at you, "Robin Hood"). 

"The Counselor," directed by Scott and penned by Cormac McCarthy, comes out today. Reviews have been mixed so far, but I still look forward to seeing it. Basically, I will see any movie that has a third act filled with monologues as well as Javier Bardem dressed like Hunter S. Thompson.

After the jump, check out my five favorite Ridley Scott movies:

Top 5: Jack Nicholson Movies

Hold on, getting a poster of this in my room right now.

According to some recent reports, Jack Nicholson has retired from acting. Then, according to some other reports, Jack Nicholson hasn't retired from acting. I'm not sure which is true, but I really want to write this article.

It has been nearly three years since Nicholson has been credited in a movie and it doesn't look like has any projects planned for the future. And at the Oscars this year he seemed, well, old (apparently, his retirement is due to memory loss). I'd love some more Nicholson but if he decided to call it quits now, he'd be leaving behind an amazing legacy. Besides maybe Daniel Day-Lewis and Paul Newman, few actors have had such consistent records. And most importantly, "The Bucket List" isn't the last credit listed on his IMDB page.

So I don't know if this is the end of his career or not but either way, it's never a bad time to celebrate Jack Nicholson. Also, this is a really fun way to put off my homework. 

Read On After the Jump: (Movies are sorted in order of the year that they came out).

Top 5: Summer Movies

We live in a weird time for movies. The phrase "TV is better than movies" gets thrown around constantly. While this statement is accurate most of the time, with "Breaking Bad" and "Orange is the New Black" providing hours of entertainment, there is still a beauty in telling a complete story in 120 minutes or less. While this summer had its share of mind-numbing blockbusters, it was also as good as ever. Summer is the time when all the movies that got distribution deals and big praise at Sundance get released so if you look closely enough, you'll find a slew of great films every summer. So here it is, the top six films of the summer of 2013. I chose six because numbers.

6. The Heat

"The Heat" was by far the best surprise of the summer. Then again, I was wrong to ever doubt the meeting of the minds of Paul Feig ("Freaks and Geeks," "Bridesmaids") and Katie Dippold ("Parks and Recreation"). The fact that this is a female buddy cop movie doesn't make it special, it's the fact that it holds nothing back. In its third act, "The Heat" suddenly goes balls-to-the-wall. Never in my life did I think a tracheotomy could be so funny. There are also scenes of never-ending banter that never feel too long. In the end, the surprisingly palpable chemistry between Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy helps to keep the film afloat and funny.

5. Frances Ha

Note to the brave men and women out there who cut movie trailers together everyday: try and hold back on the ukelele scenes, they tend to be misleading. "Frances Ha" is less a pretentious little indie than a truthful look at the lives of confused, pretentious twentysomethings. "Frances Ha" is the most satisfying film of Noah Baumbach's oeuvre so far. Maybe it's because him and Greta Gerwig have such a natural chemistry as a director-writer-actress team, or maybe its because this is the first one of his films that has a satisfying ending. Also, listen for one of the most diverse and catchiest soundtracks of the year.

Soundtrack sample:

4. Blackfish

I cannot tell a lie: I'm not quite sure how to review a documentary. What makes a good documentary anyway? Is it because you agree with the point its making? Or is it because of the way it's gotten that point across? I guess it's a little bit of both. Regardless, "Blackfish" is one of the most terrifying documentaries I've ever seen. "Jaws" made people never want to go back to the beach again. "Blackfish" guarantees that you'll never want to step anywhere close to a Sea World for the rest of your life. "Blackfish" has an argument (keeping orcas in a tiny tank is dangerous on their physical and mental health) and it presents it in such a way that its impossible to dispute it. "Blackfish" has haunted me all summer long, but what people aren't talking about is the detailed way that it focuses on the beauty of the orcas.

See the top three after the jump:

Top 5: Stand-Up Specials of 2012

My interests have taken me in a weird, unexpected place in the past few months. Since last summer, I have found myself greatly exploring and obsessing over comedy. It is something that I've always liked my whole life, but never thought I could actually see myself becoming a disciple of. But after an improv class and a few shots at standup at various open mics (they are hard to come by in Upstate New York), that is starting to change. I find quotes from Louis C.K. floating around in my head as often as lines of dialogue from "Pulp Fiction."

Many believe you can't overanalyze comedy too much. This is true. Sometimes, you can't explain laughter. However, I believe you can mine out deeper meaning in comedy. Stand-Up began to change in my eyes as I began to watch and listen to entire albums. The more you do that, the more you pay attention to themes and transitions as well as jokes. Here I have a list of five stand-up specials from this year that shocked me, moved me, made me think, and most importantly made me laugh uncontrollably:

5. Animal Furnace (Hannibal Buress)


Like the great show he once wrote for ("30 Rock"), Hannibal Buress is a joke-spewing machine. "Animal Furnace" is Buress' second hour-long special, and his next leap into becoming one of the funniest people in America. Buress has honed his act beyond just a lot of jokes and he proves that he is a fantastic storyteller. He mocks himself a lot for being overly angry about a lot of issues that don't matter, but the first few tracks have some pretty thorough takedowns of TSA agents and a bunch of cops in Montreal who gave him a ticket for jaywalking. Then his beat-by-beat commentary on an article written about him at a college that he performed at shows that he would make a great roastmaster. Many have compared Buress' voice and delivery to that of Mitch Hedberg. It's an apt comparison: Buress can pick apart the mundane and make it funny in ways you never imagined.

4. The Special Special Special (Maria Bamford)

If I ever meet Maria Bamford, I'd like to give her a hug, because she seems likes the nicest person imaginable. She's also one of the funniest and most original comedians of our time. Bamford's latest special, appropriately and hilariously titled In "The Special Special Special," Bamford doesn't perform in a theater, or even a comedy club, but rather in her own home, with an audience made up of only her parents. I have never seen stand-up so dependent on the audience's reaction. Bamford goes through her usual manic routine of impersonations, which is made even more awkward by the fact that the targets of much of her ridicule are sitting right in front of her. Then, Bamford goes into darker territory than ever before, as she chronicles her ongoing battle with Depression in a way that is both funny and inspiring. In a few meta moments, she completely stops the show so she can go to the bathroom, take cookies out of the oven, and give her beloved pug his medicine. With her stand-up, Bamford invites us into her brain. With "The Special Special Special," she invites us to be a part of her life. Buy it here

See the top 3 after the jump:

Top 5: Most Anticipated Holiday Movies

December is an exciting time. Not only because everyone is decorating their trees, lighting their Menorahs, or doing whatever people who celebrate Kwanza do. This is the time when studios release the very best films they have to offer. Often, the closer we get to the Oscars, the better the quality of movies get, until the dumping ground season of January begins. Here now is my list of films that will make December 2012 memorable, even if the world doesn't end:

5. Les Miserables

I've never been a big fan of musicals, but the history buff in me really wants to see a big, epic musical about the French Revolution. I never saw "Les Miserables" on Broadway, but seeing that the French Revolution was not a very happy time in world history, this definitely won't be a musical where people sing and dance and suddenly all of their problems disappear. A song certainly can't stop a guillotine. "Les Miserables" is directed by Tom Hooper. I still think it's unfair that his "The King's Speech" beat out both "Black Swan" and "The Social Network" for Best Picture, but that guy truly has a gift for bringing the past to life.


Coming to Theaters: December 28

4. Not Fade Away

"Not Fade Away" is David Chase's directorial debut in film. If you don't know who David Chase is, you really should: he created "The Sopranos." "Not Fade Away" brings him back to New Jersey, and even reunites Chase with the state of New Jersey Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) himself. But those expecting a profanity-laden tale of gangsters might be disappointed, as this is instead a coming-of-age story about a rock and roll band. I saw another coming-of-age story about a band earlier this year  called "Fat Kid Rules the World." I was thoroughly disappointed by it, but I have a feeling that "Not Fade Away" will be infinitely better. It has "Almost Famous" potential. Plus, with a title inspired by a Rolling Stones song, it seems that "Not Fade Away" has its head in the right place.


Coming to Theaters: December 21

View the top 3 after the jump:

Top 5: James Bond Movies

The jetpack from "Thunderball": the peak of bad special effects humor.

This weekend, "Skyfall" opens in theaters. "Skyfall" marks a remarkable 50 years of the existence of James Bond onscreen. Directed by Sam Mendes ("American Beauty," "Road to Perdition"), "Skyfall" has already been receiving early raves.

No matter how repetitive or ridiculous it gets, I will have a strong fondness for the Bond series. Thanksgivings of my childhood were usually marked by watching the Bond marathons on AMC or TNT (or whatever other network showed them) with my dad and brother. From my years of watching, I compiled a list of my favorite Bond films, building up to number one. Here are my five favorite Bond films:

5. The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

It's hard to fill the shoes of Sean Connery, but I believe Roger Moore did as good a job at it as anyone could. This is my favorite Moore installment, and it certainly doesn't shy away from the Cold War inspired madness of the time. While the villain's objective of creating a new civilization under the ocean should be completely ludicrous, it doesn't feel as unrealistic in light of climate change. Plus it's got a hot Bond girl, and Jaws, one of the few villains in the Bond series who got to come back for another film. If only Oddjob didn't meet his end in "Goldfinger," him and Jaws would have made a great team of villains.

4. Dr. No (1962)

This is where it all began. Bond had much less weapons to use, so he mainly relied on his own cunning. And while ejecting car seats are cool, it's even cooler to see Bond having to use his own wits, like watching "Spider-Man" try and scale the city when his web blasters run out. And speaking of spiders, there's a great scene where Bond battles a tarantula, which has the kind of slow-burning suspense rarely seen in movies anymore. I had the distinct pleasure to go to a beach screening of "Dr. No" while at Cannes this summer. To say that "Dr. No" has aged is an understatement. To say that because of that "Dr. No" is no longer funny or exciting to watch would be a lie.

See my Top 3 after the jump:

Top 5: Films to Watch on the Fourth of July

This list was almost going to be a list of the top 5 "America Movies." It made sense in my head, but not on paper. Then, it was going to be the most patriotic movies. However, every movie that came to mind seemed to involve Mel Gibson. Instead, I've decided to make a list that is a little bit of both. The following list contains films that may either evoke a deep sense of patriotsism, or just portray everything America is capable of in the best way possible (that can be in either a positive or negative light). Some involve criminals, bloodshed, and comically excessive vomiting. Here is a list of five great movies (presented in alphabetical order) to watch on the Fourth of July:

Top 5: Movies I will Watch to Completion Whenever They are on TV

You know that feeling. You're cruising through the channels and suddenly, you come across a movie. Maybe the game is on in 10 minutes, or you're just in commercial break from [insert reality show that everyone watches here] and it's that one movie that you've seen so many times. You can recite every line to it and yet, you can watch it again and again. Even though it has been on for an hour, watching it to completion feels necessary. I would like to present with you now my list of movies that I will watch anytime I find them on TV. Some have been acknowledged as masterpieces. Others, meanwhile, may have you questioning my credibility. Read the complete list after the jump.