Summer 2013: Movie Awards

Best Movie Directed by Someone with the First Name Woody: Blue Jasmine

Best Movie About Jews in The Rapture: This is the End

Best Use of Music From the 1980s: Frances Ha

Movie that Really Wants an Oscar: The Butler

Most Surprisingly Good Performance: Sandra Bullock (The Heat)

Best Against Type Casting: Kyle Chandler (The Spectacular Now)

Best Reason to Never Go Back to SeaWorld: Blackfish 

Movie that Most Resembled a Game of Dance Dance Revolution: Pacific Rim

Best Movie I Saw this Summer that Didn't Come Out this Summer: Bachelorette

Best Documentary I Saw this Summer that Didn't Come Out this Summer: Jiro Dreams of Sushi

Most Believable Scoliosis: Liam James (The Way Way Back)

Funniest Tracheotomy: The Heat

Least Believable Use of Hacking: Elsyium

Most Believable Family Fight Over a Board Game: The Kings of Summer

Least Believable Family Fight Over a Board Game: The Way Way Back

Movie That Restored Some Faith in Superhero Movies: Iron Man 3

Biggest "Eh" of the Summer: Star Trek Into Darkness

Top 5: Summer Movies

We live in a weird time for movies. The phrase "TV is better than movies" gets thrown around constantly. While this statement is accurate most of the time, with "Breaking Bad" and "Orange is the New Black" providing hours of entertainment, there is still a beauty in telling a complete story in 120 minutes or less. While this summer had its share of mind-numbing blockbusters, it was also as good as ever. Summer is the time when all the movies that got distribution deals and big praise at Sundance get released so if you look closely enough, you'll find a slew of great films every summer. So here it is, the top six films of the summer of 2013. I chose six because numbers.

6. The Heat

"The Heat" was by far the best surprise of the summer. Then again, I was wrong to ever doubt the meeting of the minds of Paul Feig ("Freaks and Geeks," "Bridesmaids") and Katie Dippold ("Parks and Recreation"). The fact that this is a female buddy cop movie doesn't make it special, it's the fact that it holds nothing back. In its third act, "The Heat" suddenly goes balls-to-the-wall. Never in my life did I think a tracheotomy could be so funny. There are also scenes of never-ending banter that never feel too long. In the end, the surprisingly palpable chemistry between Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy helps to keep the film afloat and funny.

5. Frances Ha

Note to the brave men and women out there who cut movie trailers together everyday: try and hold back on the ukelele scenes, they tend to be misleading. "Frances Ha" is less a pretentious little indie than a truthful look at the lives of confused, pretentious twentysomethings. "Frances Ha" is the most satisfying film of Noah Baumbach's oeuvre so far. Maybe it's because him and Greta Gerwig have such a natural chemistry as a director-writer-actress team, or maybe its because this is the first one of his films that has a satisfying ending. Also, listen for one of the most diverse and catchiest soundtracks of the year.

Soundtrack sample:

4. Blackfish

I cannot tell a lie: I'm not quite sure how to review a documentary. What makes a good documentary anyway? Is it because you agree with the point its making? Or is it because of the way it's gotten that point across? I guess it's a little bit of both. Regardless, "Blackfish" is one of the most terrifying documentaries I've ever seen. "Jaws" made people never want to go back to the beach again. "Blackfish" guarantees that you'll never want to step anywhere close to a Sea World for the rest of your life. "Blackfish" has an argument (keeping orcas in a tiny tank is dangerous on their physical and mental health) and it presents it in such a way that its impossible to dispute it. "Blackfish" has haunted me all summer long, but what people aren't talking about is the detailed way that it focuses on the beauty of the orcas.

See the top three after the jump: