Trading Places: A Christmas Classic Worth Celebrating

Black Friday has passed, but Americans still need something to fight about. Christmas has arrived, so fighting over the best Christmas movie seems like the logical next step.

If you are fighting the War On Christmas Movies, you probably fall into one of five camps:

1. Your Favorite is "It's a Wonderful Life": That means you have probably watched all of the AFI List specials.

2. Your Favorite is "Home Alone": You grew up in the 90s. Also, you have a thing for setting up booby traps in your house.

3. Your Favorite is "A Christmas Story": You will watch it during the entire 24 hour block that runs on TBS on Christmas Day. Also, you're probably Jewish and couldn't convince anybody else to go see something in theaters that day.

4. Your Favorite is "Die Hard": You understand that "Die Hard" isn't a Christmas movie in a traditional sense. But you don't care, because you are way too cool for school.

5. Your Favorite is "Jingle All The Way": Haha we get it. You like being ironic and you probably own a pair of bacon socks from Urban Outfitters and also you're probably me.

However, I would like to stage a coup, and add a sixth film to the battle. Would anybody care to join me on Team "Trading Places"?

They've Made a Huge Mistake: Eddie Murphy to Host Oscars

As if the Academy Awards hadn't already lost enough of my respect by passing over both "Inglourious Basterds" and "The Social Network" for Best Picture, AMPAS has officially chosen Eddie Murphy as their host this year.

This is not to say Eddie Murphy isn't funny. After all, he did make it acceptable for a black man to play an old Jewish man in "Coming to America." However, his comedy choices over the past decade or so have been incredibly questionable. I could bring up "Norbit," but that's too easy. Instead, I will remind you all of "Meet Dave," a movie in which Eddie Murphy plays Eddie Murphy inside of a space ship that is also Eddie Murphy. That sounds less like a real movie and more like something Tracy Jordan would have starred in.

Hopefully, Eddie Murphy could use this opportunity as a big comeback. Or Academy members will use this as a future opportunity to actually find a comedian people still like. Stephen Colbert? Jimmy Fallon? Donald Glover? Any of these would have been good choices.

Perhaps Murphy can pull this off, and bring everyone back to the days when he was a live performer on "Saturday Night Live." However, I highly doubt anything we see this year will be sadder than watching all of the charm being sucked out of James Franco and Anne Hathaway as occurred in last year's ceremony.*

*Editor's Note: Anne Hathaway is still the most beautiful woman ever to walk the face of this Earth.