Things That Should Possibly Happen: A Carrie Remake

That awkward moment when someone pours pig guts all over you at prom.

New remake gets "Carrie"-d away, said the worst headline writer ever.


Hollywood doesn't seem to understand that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. However, I'm done yelling at studio executives who probably aren't listening, and I'm also tired of referring to every person who works in the film industry collectively as Hollywood. The idea that existing properties are more valued than original ones needs to change, but there is no way that it will ever happen overnight.

The latest remake being concocted is of "Carrie," Brian De Palma's twisted horror thriller. "Carrie" seems to have little justification for a remake. "Carrie" stands out to me because because nothing really exciting happens until the very end, yet the whole experience is a thrill to watch. The promised finale lasts under five minutes, yet it is as spectacular and horrifying today as it was in 1976. The slow buildup is a perfect display of Hitchcockian tension. This is a subtlety that most horror movies today are devoid of, and I fear that a modern update of "Carrie" would be substitute real scares for extra buckets of blood. And not just pig's blood.

However, there is one saving grace to the "Carrie" remake. Chloe Moretz, better known as Hit-Girl from "Kick-Ass," has signed to take Sissy Spacek's place as "Carrie." Now, Moretz is not quite Sissy Spacek yet but then again, neither was Sissy Spacek when she took this role. Moretz can play a hard-edged teen, but can she bring Spacek's creepiness and vulnerability back? Also, the movie will be directed by Kimberly Peirce, who directed "Boys Don't Cry." I have yet to see "Boys Don't Cry," but some extra female perspective for this story could be interesting.

Either way, I'm standing by the original. And unless Peirce really screws up, there is no way this could be as bad as the Broadway musical. Discounting the fact that this story should never be a musical, it was apparently terrible.

Read more about the remake here.

This Ad Just Set Back The Anti-Piracy Movement By A Decade

The piracy debate is a tough one, and it would take me too long to fully explain my stance. So instead, here's a great way to make people not want to go to the movies. Reminding people that going to the movies is paying for an experience is very noble, but why pick "Battleship," a movie based on a board game? Maybe this weekend's "Hunger Games," which broke box office records, could have worked. Or some kind of appeal to the great movies of the past, I'm sure the Academy Awards has more than enough montages to lend. Seriously, "Battleship" is the last thing to make me want to buy a movie ticket and some over-buttered popcorn.

Movie Review: The Hunger Games

Before I start this review, let's get something out of the way: I have not read "The Hunger Games" or any of the other books in the series. I cannot compare the film adaptation to the original book. Therefore, I will be reviewing "The Hunger Games" as a movie, not an adaptation.

I will admit that I ignored "The Hunger Games" for most of its popularity because I associated it with the tweenage wasteland of "Twilight." "The Hunger Games" does not deserve to be put into that category because the story is much more mature, the characters are more complex, and if the movie is any indication, Suzanne Collins is a much better writer than Stephanie Meyer is. The difference is that Collins seems to write about teenagers from the perspective of an adult, and Meyer with the prose of a fifth grader.

Your Friday Dose of Weirdness: John Ford

"You know I don't speak Spanish..."

Some characterize directors as egoists. They could be right, until they watch this interview with John Ford, conducted by Peter Bogdanovich (director of "The Last Picture Show," which I will hopefully have a review for later this week).

The interview is so insightful because there is absolutely no insight provided by it. Is Ford being rude, or humble. Is he arrogant, or self-conscious? I usually don't take much credence in what YouTube commenters say, but the discussion on this video is surprisingly toned down and intelligent. Take a note from that, Internet.

Anyway, what I found so interesting here is the way in which Ford answers the questions. Should a director remain closed off and mysterious about their work? Or is it better to reveal all of their intentions to the world? Discuss, and watch below:

Movie Review: A Seperation

Who would have thought that a slow burning film in Farsi would merit a second viewing? "A Separation," the winner of this year's Oscar for Best Foreign Language film, is also one of the best films to come out of 2011. It merits such interest and praise not only for the country for which it came from, but because it is the kind of challenging fair that does not get make it to theaters enough.

I do not know how "A Separation" got by in Iran, a country bound by such heavy censorship, but that makes this filmmaking effort all the more bold. Yet, it makes no sweeping political statements, it is just about the hardships of life as it is.

Movie Review: Friends With Kids

Let's clear one thing up right now from the trailer of "Friends with Kids": this is not a rom-com. This is not even a comedy about love. It is more along the lines of a dramedy with some awkward laughs, and a lot of babies ruining things. Man, do children ruin everything.

Analog This: Community, and How Social Media Saved it

Warning! Some minor spoilers for tonight's episode. And if you are a community college student then no, you cannot be a pirate as well.

I am not one of the righteous few who has deactivated their Facebook account and returned to reality. Having said that, here are a few reasons why I hate social media: it is addicting, it is causing people to be too concerned about the affairs of others, and it all together makes us more vain and self-concerned.

And here is why I love social media: without it, "Community" might not have been back on the air tonight. I am not in any way taking credit away from the show's brilliant mastermind Dan Harmon, nor the NBC executives, who are not getting enough credit for continuing to keep this strange little show on the air, despite its low ratings.